Below are the 3 most recent journal entries recorded in david_cameron's LiveJournal:

Thursday, April 20th, 2006
10:35 pm	Chameleon? Moi? Did any of you see that blasted Dave the Chameleon" thing by those Labour rotters? I didn't like it much. Gave me some terrible flashbacks to our Christmas do of '02, where Michael Portillo danced around wearing only a pair of PVC hotpants singing Karma Chameleon. Ugh. Still, it is awfully considerate of Labour to tell the public that I am not Conservative, and that I care about the environment. We were planning how to play that one. David Davis jokingly suggested that we inform you plebs that various Conservative party leaders have sex with endangered animal species, to increase the population. William Hague seemed entirely too excited by the whole idea. I must admit, dear internet friends, William Hague is as creepy in real life as he is on television. Eventually we settled on some footage of me riding a bicycle to a forest, where I would plant some trees, before hugging the aforementioned trees. I'll surely claim the unwashed hippie student vote after this! Hmm, maybe I ought to set up a photo session where I meet that Swampy fellow... Remember: Vote Green, Go Blues! Oh blast, that isn't quite right, is it? (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 1st, 2006
7:34 pm	The Thames Whale: TRUTH Thank you for your kind comments on my last entry, friends. It is always good to know what the constituents are thinking! First of all, I am going to write to you about the Thames whale. A little known fact is that the whale was, in fact, a publicity stunt for the Labour party, in an attempt to show any potential deserters to the green party that the government cares about the environment. Well of course, as soon as we heard the news in Conservative Towers, me and my "homie" Oliver Letwin rushed down to the riverbank, and did a "drive-by" on that "foo' gangsta" the whale, and now it has backfired spectacularly on the government. The greens now hate them for allowing the whale to die, and for allowing the Thames to become so polluted, and I'm sure that myself and Oliver demonstrating how "down" we are with the youth of today has scored us several "brownie points" with younger voters. Next week we are going to "happy slap" David Blunkett! Now, what about that Lib Dem leadership contest, eh? HAHAHAHA. That's all I'm saying on that one, my "cool" and "tubular" inter-buddies! George Osborne and I dared Anne Widdecomb to stand as Lib Dem leader, but all she did was glare at us. That woman(?) gives me the heeblie-peeblies. Now I'm going to go "rock out" to some "funky beats" on my iPod. "Laterz!" Hugs and kisses, David. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, January 14th, 2006
2:22 am	My first entry! Hello, to all of you out there in Internetland! My PR team tells me that "blogging" is a new and popular trend amongst young people, and as I am out there, hip and happenin' (not to mention groovy) I have decided to join in. I'll have a decent layout when I figure out how to work this damned thing! I think now would be a good time to launch into a stand-up comedy sketch about how modern technology is hard and how the instructions are impossible to read. "My son has one of those new-fangled iPop thingies. I pressed a button on it and it exploded!" that'd be original and witty, wouldn't it? Maybe I can work it into my speech at the next party conference... Who am I? Well, I'm the future Prime Minister of Great Britain, of course. One day I will actually just get to have tea with the Queen, instead of the doll of her I knitted. That doll is quite a chatterbox, I can tell you, although she often tells me to stab Oliver Letwin. At times I'm tempted! So, what's been going on in the world of politics? Well, that crazy Charlie Kennedy has resigned as leader of the Lib Dems. Real Alternative? Yes, we sure do need an alternative to sober politicians. I always suspected him of being an alcie, ever since he started claiming the Lib Dems would overtake us. And then there was that phonecall when he said he was my best friend and would love me forever, and then burst into tears. Quite an odd chap. Apparently his replacement will be an alien called Ming the Merciless. Hopefully the Daily Mail and the Sun will have a field day about him being a danged foreigner. Aliens do count as foreigners, right? That's all for today! Hugs and kisses, David. (4 Comments |Comment on this)